The third step to Peace of Mind Parenting is becoming the role model that YOU want to be. As a parent you are the most important role model in the life of your teen. If you relinquish this role, someone else will step in—and it may not be pretty! Role models give insights and suggestions regarding teen struggles. For many of us, setting a good example amidst a hectic day can be quite challenging. But the next time your teen exhibits inappropriate behavior, ask yourself honestly where it comes from. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. I encourage you to shift your mindset to one where being a role model is your top priority. The following seven tips will get you started…
1. Walk the talk.
You act the way you want others to act. Exhibit the desired behavior for your teen and it will
filter into their behavior. Teens live what they see.
2. Take a moral inventory.
Ask yourself, “What are my values and beliefs,” “What did I learn from my parents that I would like to pass down,” and “What is important to me?” Write down your answers.
3. Be consistent with your family values and beliefs.
Is your life consistent with your values? Stress arises when your outward behaviors do not match your inner beliefs. Be aware of and practice what you believe.
4. Help your teen to find everyday role models.
Role models are people whom your teen admires or emulates, such as teachers, coaches, counselors, youth minister, or another parent.
5. Be available.
Teens need a safe place in which to express feelings. Use phrases like, “I am here for you,” and “I would love to hear more about your day.” Be available and your teen will come to you.
6. Show your love.
Let your teen know that your love is unconditional. You may not like the behavior, but you’ll always love him or her. Show affection and say “I love you” every day.
7. Give respect to earn respect.
Try not to preach, lecture, judge or criticize.
Sometimes it’s good to get another perspective on your efforts at becoming a role model for your teen. You may be too entrenched in habits to see where you might improve or perhaps you aren’t giving yourself enough credit. As your coach, I’ll give you an objective opinion and offer some guidance to set you on the right track.
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