In running across the myriads of books and articles, I think regretfully, I wish that I would have done this tip with my kids. It is never too late to start. Less is more is a theory that my boys would have loved as teens. So, I empart this wisdom to you as a gift.
Teens feel that we don’t listen to them
Most teens feel that they really did get our point the first bazillion times. They often tune us out because of our verbosity. One Mother took things into her own hands (and, she was a talker) . She started speaking with one word. If the bathroom was a mess and she wanted the wet towels picked up, she said,”TOWEL”. If her kids didn’t get that message, she said”BATHROOM FLOOR”. And for trash day, instead of saying,” You didn’t take the trash out last week, I only ask you to do one thing and you still can’t do that”… (Heck, I wouldn’t take out the trash either) Anyway,when this Mom just said, “take out the trash”. Her teens were stunned. They wanted to know what was wrong with her. Was she mad? She simply stated that she took their cues and was trying a new way of communication. Her teens were elated!! They loved her new communication style, they respected her for making a positive behavior change, she modeled that behavior to her kids (win-win).
By saying less, you can get bigger results:
This helps you organize your thoughts
Thinking helps you to be clearer about what you convey
Thinking more clarifies your feelings
You are on hand to be a better listener-to be more present
It helps you to be calmer and more in control of yourself
It can give you more attention and respect from your family-they will hear what you say
This will cut down on lecturing and nagging
This communication style expresses limits, boundaries
It is more effective that demands, threats, begging or shame
By the way, it doesn’t cut out requesting the towels to be picked up, clothes to be thrown down the laundry shoot or the trash to be taken out; it is just done in a way that your teens know what you mean and expect. Try this at your house for a week and let me know how it goes. One word is extremely difficult, I will give you 10 or less:)
Don’t thank me now, thank me later:)
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