Teens Advice for Improving Communication

I have talked a lot about communication.

Listen to US!

Chances are, you have had an opportunity to hear one of my communications teleseminars (parts 1 and 2). Communication is the heat and soul of Peace of Mind Parenting. Each step builds on the other, but, without good communication, the other steps get cloudy. Today, I would like to take a look at what the teens are telling us, to take some stock in their advice from the way they hear us communicate to them. This information is from one of my favorite book resources: Positive Discipline: Jane Nelsen and Lynn Lott, 2nd Edition, Three Rivers press, New York.

Teens’ Advice to Parents on How to Improve Communication:

1. No Lectures
2. Make it short and sweet
3. Talk everything out honestly
4. Compromise
5. Don’t talk down to us
6. Listen to us- don’t talk over us
7. Don’t repeat yourself
8. If we have the guts to tell you what we did wrong, don’t be mad and don’t overreact.
9. Don’t pry or give us the third degree
10. Skip the 20 questions

Ok, we knew some of these things already.

In our heart of hearts we want to do all of these, but trust me, things get in the way. We forget to respect our teens. In the heat of the moment we flip out over the most minor infraction. I know that I repeat my self because, I didn’t think that they were listening, and somehow, if I said it 50 times, surely, my boys would clean their rooms! Guilty on several of these counts!! Isn’t it great to know how collectively our teens feel? Isn’t it great to have some awareness? (Changing your Mindset again) Isn’t it nice to have some clear advice from our teens? We will be talking about each of these in greater detail in future newsletters.

I don’t know about you, but do your teens call you on your “stuff”? Do they have the ability to let you know in a way that you can listen to them? Do you encourage your son/daughters input? My sons give me unsolicited feedback constantly. It is a good thing that both of them have fabulous senses of humor and can make fun of me in a way that I HAVE to laugh at myself.

Kudos to the teens that gave their input and feedback so that we can better gauge our communication!